They tell me one day I'll be able to look back on this and laugh.

Yesterday I experienced one of those moments that, as a mother, really makes you question whether God really knew what he was doing when he gave you the blessing of bearing a child.

At church every Sunday there is a time when all the children are asked to come forward for a special message. Afterward they leave the sanctuary for their own worship service. Three is the magical minimum age at which the children can begin to participate in this little activity.

We cheated a little with Colin as he started going up for the children’s message about a month before his third birthday. So far, while he hasn’t been what I would call “good as gold” he also hasn’t been completely terrible. He has had a few moments that have made the whole congregation giggle a little, but nothing that has made me want to crawl under the pew and hide. No, nothing completely horribly embarrassing…that is until yesterday.

Yesterday’s children’s message went something like this:

Pastor L: “Today we’re going to play a little game to help us understand our lesson.” Does everyone know how to play Follow the Leader?”

Colin: (interrupting at the top of his voice) “There’s J way way over there!!”

Pastor L: “I see J. Hi J. Okay…let’s play follow the leader. I’ll start & you guys do what I do.”

Colin: (interrupting at the top of his voice) “J gave me a haircut.”

Pastor L: “Wow, it’s a very nice haircut.” (starts hopping up and down on one foot) “Can you all do this?” (all the kids follow suit) “Okay, now let’s give someone else a turn to be the leader.” Pointing to the child on her right she asks, “What would you like to do?”

Colin: (who is not the child on her right, interrupting at the top of his voice) “I got new shoes!”

Pastor L: “Wow, those are very nice shoes. I am always proud when I get new shoes.”

The leader child chooses to hop up and down on the other foot and Pastor L and all the other kids follow suit. The game continues around the circle of children with more interruptions from Colin and more jumping and twirling. Colin is immediately to the left of Pastor L and therefore will be the last child to be a leader. Colin’s turn finally arrives. I sit in the pew trying to imagine what he might choose to do for his turn.

Pastor L: “Okay Colin, it’s your turn. What would you like to do?”

Colin: (again at the top of his voice so EVERYONE can hear him) “I just tooted.”

At which point the entire congregation erupts in laughter.

Pastor L: “Ohhhkkkaaaayyyy, well, I don’t think we’ll all follow that. Let’s bow our heads and pray.”

I had on a red shirt & I think my face was as red as my shirt was. After the service was over I had Scott go and grab our jackets while I went and got Colin from the kids worship and we ducked out the back door as quickly as we could. Looking on the bright side, I suppose it could have been worse. He could’ve actually said “fart” instead of “toot.” Someday I might be able to show my face there again. SIGH!