Happy birthday J.

Today is the birthday of the person I used to consider my BFF. It was one of those perfect situations where her & I were very close and Scott and her DH were/still are very close. We hung out alot. They were our best "couple" friends.



Then, one year ago today, Colin and I were both sick as dogs, so much so that I didn't get to call or see her on her birthday. I attempted to call her the next day and she didn't return my call. After that, things were just different between us. They have since moved to the East coast and it's been almost a year since we've spoken.



I miss her terribly. She was like a sister to me. I never thought something like being sick on her birthday would come between us like it did. I guess, since we haven't spoken I don't know what really happened between us. If my not (at the very least) calling on her birthday no matter how crappy I felt was it, or if something else happened that I was just oblivious to. I'd like to think I'm not the kind of friend that just wouldn't notice a huge gaping hole in our friendship before it was way too late to do something about it. Who knows, though, maybe I did miss something?? After they moved, I made several attempts to contact her, but either she wasn't home or was too busy to speak to me & said she'd call me back. She never returned my calls. She now lives within minutes of her mom and sisters. I guess maybe she just doesn't need me anymore.



Anyway, this the kind of card I might have sent her last year before things got so weird bewteen us:





Instead, this year I sent her a card that said "Thinking of you & all the happy times we've shared. Thinking of you and wishing you a happy birthday."



It makes me very sad because I just really, truely miss the friendship we used to share & I hate that I had to send her a sappy "missing you" birthday card instead of a fun "dang you're getting really old" card.



As far as I know she doesn't even read this blog, so I guess I'm mostly posting this just to get it off my chest. Thanks for letting me. On the off chance that the does read this: J., I hope you have a great birthday. I miss you tons and I'm sorry for screwing up on your birthday last year.